Autumn Soul Care

Over the past two months (and on through November) as I head toward the release of Handle With Care, I wanted to quiet some of the unrest and unhealth in my soul. There have been some patterns of anxiety, ignoring my gut sense or intuition in favor of what seemed “right” or obligatory, and a general passive engagement with the Lord. In laymen’s terms, I was “going through the motions.” So, in true form, I sat down, made myself a curriculum, and set myself on it. It was robust, full, ordered, and I knew it would jar my spirit and soul in the ways I needed.

I know so many authors who pour their hearts and souls into their books and then into the marketing process, so much so that they’re always one step behind a burnout or selling themselves out just to get the book sold. I absolutely do not want this. I love writing and I want to write for a long time, so that means recognizing that I am not primarily a speaker or a marketer or a podcaster or an expert in any way. I am a writer. I will do my best not to sell this book, but to be faithful to what God is asking of me each day. Part of that, for today, is making sure my soul is well-cared for and not going into the release on empty.

This was a long way of telling you that I have been eye-ball deep in soul-care material this fall. All my prioritized reading is related to the care of my soul and I am not feeling one bit guilty about the pile of other books waiting to be read. I thought I’d share a few of the books, links, podcasts, and exercises I’ve been working through in this time. My homemade curriculum is 16 weeks and specifically tailored to areas where I needed to grow, but perhaps some of it might be helpful to you as well. I’m just sharing source materials below, the course itself has practices, written reflections, and writing exercises built into it as well. It has already been so hard and so good for me.

My texts for these 16 weeks are:

Sacred Rhythms, by Ruth Haley Barton. This is my third time through her easy to read book on Spiritual disciplines and it’s my favorite Spiritual discipline book.

Who God Says You Are, by Klyne Snodgrass. My friend Mason King recommended this to me last winter as a resource for Handle With Care, but I’ve been working my way slowly through it all this year and it will probably be my book of the year.

As I Recall, by Casey Tygrett. One of the main works of the first month of this time has been working with my own memories of blessing and memories of trauma. Casey has been a good leader for me.

Holy Noticing, by Charles Stone. Again, working with paying attention to memories, histories, circumstances, and not letting those things terminate on themselves.

Soulful Spirituality, by David Benner. I haven’t gotten to this one yet in the course, but I’ve paged through it and really enjoyed The Gift of Being Yourself by Benner in the past.

The Relational Soul, by James Cofield and Richard Plass. This one has been on my to-read list for a few years now and I just haven’t prioritized it. It comes highly recommended by people I trust.

I do not listen to many podcasts. Maybe because I am a little over-stimulated by them, or because I find it hard to follow when there are multiple voices involved. But I have really come to appreciate Adam Young’s podcast, The Place We Find Ourselves. I recommend starting at the beginning of the first seas onand working through it all slowly. It has been tremendously revealing for me in my own lack of emotional health.

I also appreciate Potter’s Inn Podcast on Soul Care. These are longer listens, so they just require more time for me.

Last week Mike Cosper released his episode of Cultivated with Chuck Degroat (who you should absolutely be reading) and I listened twice. I am deeply grateful for his work. Here are two recent posts he wrote (first and second) and a class he offers on contemplative prayer. In fact, it was Chuck’s words that helped me to realize that if I kept going at the rate I was, without stopping to care for my soul, I was headed for some destruction, either of my own or others.

These aren’t included in my Soul Care Curriculum, but they’ve been helpful pieces or videos for me to mull on in a deeper, more reflective way the past few weeks. Perhaps one or two will bless you.

The Hazards of Online Faith Writing

On Living

Every Idle Word

What does it mean to pay spiritual and moral attention to the conflicts of our lives?

When Dreams Die

Tools for the Art of Living from OnBeing

Finally, as I do this work, here are the two playlists I’ve been listening to:

Autumn is for Reading

Whenever the days get shorter and the nights longer, I want nothing more than tea after dinner and to wear wooly socks. I bought a puzzle from the 1960s at a thrift store for one dollar and twenty-five cents last week and it is 1500 faded, musty pieces. We began working on it a few nights ago, with intermittent trick or treaters, and it will probably take us all winter if we let it. Another short day, long night pastime I love is reading, which I suppose is no secret. Here are some we've been enjoying in our home: Hannah Anderson sent me the manuscript for this last spring and I read every word then, but having the real book in my hands made me want to give another go at her new book, Humble Roots. Attention to creation, the care of it and the learning from it, is something I think we in the church need more of. A pivotal time in my faith was when a friend taught a four week class at my church in New York on creation, the New Heaven, New Earth, God's role in it, and our role in it. It was deeply formative for me. Writers like Wendell Berry, Michael Pollan, Alice Waters, Walter Bruggemann, and more began to inform my concept of the land, the food we eat, the way we produce it, and the care we give to the people walking on it. Hannah's new book is now added to that section of our bookshelves because she takes lessons from the earth, much in the same way Jesus taught through parables, and teaches her readers about humility, peace, worship, and community—all through the lens of the gospel and scripture. When I wrote my endorsement for it, I said, "This is the book I've been wanting on the shelves of Christians everywhere," and I meant every word. If you have a longing in you for roots and a certainty in you of the hope of the new earth, I highly recommend reading Humble Roots.

Until my friend Katelyn Beaty sent me her new book, A Woman's Place, the book I most recommended to men, and male pastors particularly, was Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In. Now I will add A Woman's Place to my list. Katelyn was specific in her research, articulate in her communication, and impassioned with her cause in this piece and I love this book. She not only showcases the various ways every woman works, she makes a case for a "cross-shaped ambition" much needed in the work of women today. "The ambition God invites us to is a cross-shaped ambition: to embrace our inability to have it all so that he be our all. Likewise, the contentment to which God invites us is a cross-shaped contentment: to choose to say "thy will be done," to willingly embrace our own constraints, because it is often through human weakness that God most clearly displays his power and glory." If you care about women and want to see the work of women flourish—both inside and outside the church—I recommend reading A Woman's Place.

Another thing we love to read are novels, particularly long ones. Nate had recommended a series to me which, based on the covers, I had no interest in. Call it snobbery, call it whatever, they looked like cheap beach reads for nerds. But they were also thick, 600+ pages, and that's my favorite quality in a novel, so I picked up the first one. It is called The Passage, by Justin Cronin, and I couldn't put it down. For the next few weeks I read all three every night before bed and during our Sunday sabbath time. The writing was captivating, the story was surprisingly good, and the character development was solid. I was sold. I've had a few people ask if these are "clean" and to be honest, I don't know what that means. If you want a book without any coarse language or the brokenness of humanity, these aren't the books for you, but if you want to read a compelling story of good versus evil where every good is touched with evil and every evil began as good, this is a solid series. The conclusion at the end of the third novel had me in tears. It was, without question, the best last 100 pages of a story I've read in a long time. There are three in the series: The Passage, The Twelve, and The City of Mirrors.

Happy reading!

This post contains affiliate links, so if you buy any of these books (or anything on Amazon after clicking on them), you help contribute to keeping Sayable alive and functioning. 

Eat the Words

I cut my teeth on L'Engle and Dillard, mulled over O'Connor and Greene, struggled though four semesters of Shakespeare, found myself in the pages of Berry and Kingsolver. Good writing has carried me along. Good writing taught me more theology than six semesters ever did.

In the attention deficit world of the blogosphere, it can be easy to subsist on the crumbs. Comments back and forth, public discussion and debate, he saids/she saids, commentary on every public event that happens and quickly dissipates. This is the oil that keeps the machine running, greasy stories and grimy bits that catch our fancy for a moment and flee just as quickly.

I want the slow meal. The feast prepared with wooden cutting boards and whole foods, the juices of meats flavoring the whole. The spice. The wine. The tablecloth and the candles. Shoulder to shoulder, leaving the dishes for later, much later. The slow food.

Spotlights, whether by association or viral fame, do not a good writer make. Good writing is made in the kitchen, with the dashes and pinches, the taste-testing and stirring, ruminating and storing, aging and serving. Good writing sits and satisfies from the first bite to the last. It is a chocolate cake with a dollop of homemade ice-cream, from which only one bite is needed—because it satisfies.

When I lived in Central America the close of the meal was signaled by the head of the home saying, "Satisfecho." It was a statement. I am satisfied. He would lean back in his chair, push back his plate, and we would sit there still, until all were satisfecho.

This is the writing I want to read. The kind that satisfies, that isn't clamoring for more attention, for commenting, for debate, for the spotlight. It simply is. And is beautiful.

Copying the Creator

It was the his third strike. He was a baseball player, so he and I both knew what that meant. Out. I was a TA for an English class in college. It was my first semester as a transfer student. I hardly knew my way around campus and I'd been tapped on the shoulder by the chair of our department to assist one of the English professors.

The first inkling of plagiarism seemed innocent, an uncited source; the second instance seemed lazy; but with two warnings under his belt, he handed in his third paper full of paragraphs I found in their entirety in a few minute google search.

I don't know what happened to him when I reported the situation to the administration, though I knew they didn't handle that stuff lightly. Looking back I wish I'd been more careful to explain why this wasn't acceptable. I had plenty more opportunities in my years as a TA to do so, but I never did.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Allegations of plagiarism by Mark Driscoll are all ablaze right now and they seem justified in some ways. Whole ideas or outlines have been lifted, slightly altered, and used as his own material. I would flunk a student for doing that, and yet—haven't I done it a thousand times?

In recent weeks I chew on John 3:30, "He must increase. I must decrease."

Whether you're a college student trying to get a passing grade or a pastor churning out books written by a ghostwriter, there is an element of "increasing" present that I'm not sure is healthy. I would argue too that even bloggers must wrestle with this dichotomy. If it is true that we must be ever decreasing and increasing Him—what does that say about all our platform building?

We may not be building a tower of Babel to reach God, but what have we made our god in His place?

This isn't easy wrestle through. God gives gifts to men and finds joy when we use them for His glory—but I wonder sometimes how many of us are like my college student: trying to get a passing grade. It doesn't matter who we seek approval from—if we seek it from men, we're in sin, and if we seek it from God, we do so in vain. If we are His children, we have His full approval in the righteousness of Christ.

I have one finger pointed at you and three back at myself here. I seek the approval of so many other than God and I want less of it. More than ever, I want to shrink my footprint—or at least my byline. More of Him, less of me.

God help us, we are all guilty of plagiarism. The wise man's words "there is nothing new under the sun," assure of us that. You are the author of all truth and we merely regurgitate it, chewed and masticated, hardly a form of its original beauty and intention. Help us to copy you, emulate you, take our truth from you—and if another steals words from us, let us hand them over willingly because we truly own nothing apart from You.

God in a Pickle

I have only on a few occasions reposted articles or blog posts in their near entirety. Doing so smacks of my days as an English TA in college, when 50% of the papers were handed in 50% plagiarized by unassuming and presumptuous freshman who borrowed another's thoughts because they said them so much better. Well of course they did, but they were freshmen once too and did their homework more earnestly, I promise you. (Lest there be any confusion, I am the freshman in this case.)

This book review by Joni Erickson Tada kept me gaping the whole time I read and so I'm at least sharing a few nuggets of it with you. But go read the whole thing if you please, and the book reviewed as well; I plan to.

Through the decades, I have learned that when you’re hemorrhaging human pain, answers—even if they are good, right, and true—can sting like salt in a wound. When you are decimated and down for the count, the “16 good biblical reasons why all this is happening” can come across as cold and calloused. Answers are good when you’re asking “Why?” with an open heart, but they can do damage when you’re asking “Why?” with a clenched fist.

That’s what irks [a few friends who gag when they hear the God of the Bible is not embarrassed to say he’s sovereign over suffering]: that sticky, inconvenient propensity of God to tuck everything under his overarching decrees without explaining why (or getting himself dirty). That’s what drives them crazy.

Admit it: like pickles in a jar, our minds are soaked with all sorts of secular subtleties. We are infected by our culture of comfort and convenience, and would rather erase suffering out of the biblical dictionary. We want a God who supports our plans, who is our “accomplice;” someone to whom we can relate as long as he is doing what we want. If he does something else, we “unfriend” him.

From Joni Erickson Tada's review of Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering by Tim Keller

Plumb Tuckered Out: 100 in 2013

As I was packing the last of our stuff last week and put July's books from 100 in 2013 in a box to haul to our new place, I realized I'd only actually had time to read half of one of them. Half. Of one. Of eight.

A few days later I was sitting next to a friend and she commented something about my time and the commitments on my plate currently. "I'm convinced you wouldn't be so pressed if it weren't for a certain book project you undertook," she said wryly. I don't usually use adverbs after "said," so you know it must have been said wryly. Point taken.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

At the beginning of this project I said, "I don’t have time to read 100 books in 2013. I didn’t have time in 2012, and I don’t foresee ever having the time to commit to such a project. If you know me at all, you know the possibility of failure is rarely a reason to not try something. Mumbo-jumbo about not setting yourself up for failure has never appealed to me much and so there is a very real possibility that I will hit March or September and get plumb tuckered out. I hope that doesn’t happen, but I won’t feel too badly if it does. The point is, I’m going to try (read full post here)."

Well, here we are, it's not even August first and I'm plumb tuckered out. And I would like to feel badly about that, but I don't. Since January I have read 56 and a half books. That might be small peanuts to some people, but it's a treasure trove to me. I have discovered books that will go down as some of my favorite pieces of literature. I have been challenged, stunned, and bored, I have skimmed, reread, and underlined more sentences than I have since college.

But I'm tired y'all.

Not tired of reading. But tired of consuming. While reading Wendell Berry last month, I realized I wanted to give him my entire attention and I just couldn't, not at the pace at which I was going. It seems somewhat unfair to take someone's life work and give them a cursory glance.

So I'm pressing pause on 100 in 2013. I don't think I'm quitting, but I might get to the end of 2013 and have renamed the project 67 in 2013. It doesn't have the same ring, but goodness gracious, it's still more than I've ever read in a year.

I know so many of you have loved the short reviews I've been doing and I have no plan to stop them. I may not do them monthly, or I may, but with less books, I don't know. But I will continue to do short reviews as best as I can.

Thanks for following along on this journey—and if you bought me a book for the project that I haven't reviewed yet, make sure you look back in the coming months—it will show up sooner or later!

Before You Say I Believe for Another Day

"Every morning, when you wake up," he used to say, "before you reaffirm your faith in the majesty of a loving God, before you say I believe for another day, read the Daily News with its record of the latest crimes and tragedies of mankind and then see if you can honestly say it again." He was a fool in the sense that he didn't or couldn't or wouldn't resolve, intellectualize, evade the tensions of his faith but lived those tensions out, torn almost in two by them at times. His faith was not a seamless garment but a ragged garment with the seams showing, the tears showing, a garment that he clutched about him like a man in a storm.

—on Union Theological Seminary professor James Muilenburg by Frederick Buechner in Now and Then, pg. 16

June: 100 in 2013

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night in a sort of middle of the night panic. It was nothing really. I just remembered I hadn't posted June's 100 in 2013 and it's the middle of July. What that should tell you is two things: 1. I need a personal assistant because [s]he would never forget such things. 2. I am human.

It should also tell you a third thing which is that I didn't actually finish June's books until a week ago, and even then I didn't finish one of them entirely. But more on that in a bit.

Out of Africa by Isak Dinesen (or Karen von Blixen, whichever you prefer) has long been one of my favorite tales. It is beautiful writing from start to finish and it's been about six years since I first read it. Story aside, every sentence is pure poetry.

The Hole in Our Holiness by Kevin DeYoung. This is one of the books every month I mostly skim. The reason for that is simple: I read enough articles and blog posts saying similar things often enough. However, that said, I think it is still an important book particularly for the YRR movement and even more particularly for those who accuse the YRR movement of being lax in their pursuit of holiness. Within the context of grace and justification, DeYoung delves into sanctification and its implications on the Christian's growth.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson will probably top the list of Most Memorable Books read this year (of which The Brothers K and The Meaning of Marriage hold sole positions thus far). I have heard about Robinson's writing for a year now and this book was like eating a perfectly ripe peach, drinking the finest wine, and sitting at the feet of a hundred ancestors. I have heard many say it was difficult to get into in the beginning, and I would agree, but give it 50 pages, please. You will not regret it.

The Art of the Commonplace by Wendell Berry. This is the aforementioned book that I did not finish in its entirety. It includes 21 of Berry's essays and each one is more spectacular than the one before (though, nothing, in my opinion, tops A Native Hill, which is my favorite essay of his). I read 16 of them before feeling like it would be best for me to set it aside for a few months. Part of the challenge of this 100 in 2013 has been the speed at which I'm reading and the inability to truly ingest fully. Berry deserves that and I aim to give it to him.

Notes from the Tilt a Whirl by N.D. Wilson. I wanted to love this book, I promise. I very much wanted to love it. Wilson is a fine wordsmith and I think there are many who will identify richly with this book, but I'll be honest, I had a hard time following his direction and even harder grasping some concrete ideas. This might be a book I revisit in a few months or years when I can give it more time.

Still by Lauren Winner. This is my second time through Winner's second memoir, this one sub-titled Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis. I eagerly read her previous books and recommend them highly, but this one was hard for me yet again. The writing itself is lovely and the way she works through her faith in a somewhat disjointed and beautiful way is exactly what a faith-crisis ought to be, but her conclusions again left me sadly wanting.

The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. Review here.

Embracing Obscurity by Anonymous. I'm one of the suckers who bought this book simply to see if I could figure out who the author was by the writing style, I admit it. Conclusion: I have no idea who wrote it, except that they are probably associated with my associates. Who knows? It could be you. But that's missing the point, isn't it? The point is to embrace the unknownness we are so lax to embrace in a world of platforms and pulpits. Point taken. If this is a struggle for you, I recommend the book highly.

These are the last of the books to be packed for our upcoming move. You see how much I love you? I keep things unpacked for you.

May: 100 in 2013

We're on month five of #100in2013 and I'll be honest, I didn't know if I'd make it this far. By far the most common question I've gotten about this project is "Are you on schedule?" The answer to that is yes, sort of. I scheduled the books out throughout the year because I knew if I didn't, I'd read all the most interesting ones (to me) at the beginning and be bored still toward the end. However, along the way I've realized I might have scheduled myself into a frenzy, so this month I let myself be a little flexible with what I read. A good choice.

Won't Let Go Unless You Bless Me by Andree Seu. She's always been an impressive Christian writer to me. I love the way she thinks and her dry sardonic wit. This is a short book full of her essays and I highly recommend it if you're looking for good writing, memoir or devotional style.

What is the What by Dave Eggers. This is a beast. This book was tough for me. I love Dave Eggers and this book was no exception, but the content (on the Lost Boys of Sudan) is rough. The most poignant part of the book, though, came for me in the purpose of its title. It has stuck with me so strongly this month that I may do a whole post on it at some point, so be looking for that if you're curious.

The Horse and His Boy by CS Lewis. One of my favorite of the Narnia books. Talking horses? Who wouldn't love it.

Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber. I liked this book. It's a fairly big book (nearly 500 pages), but it was a quick read for me. Carolyn tells her story with surprising detail. I couldn't figure out if the book was meant to be a love story or her journey to faith, but by the time I read the last page, I realized it was both—they just happened to be simultaneous journeys.

The Terrible Speed of Mercy: A Spiritual Biography of Flannery O'Connor by Jonathan Rogers. I enjoyed this biography of one of the greatest short story writers of our time. I've known O'Connor's story since college, but this book shed some new light into the life and times of this beloved writer. Flannery's life was not easy, but it was the quintessential "writer's life" and Rogers tells of it well.

Chasing Francis by Ian Morgan Cron. I've had this one on my shelves for a while. I loved Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me by Cron, but I was less inclined to read a novel by him. However, it was good timing that I read this one when I did. Chasing Francis is the story of a man in the middle of a faith crisis who goes to Italy on a spiritual journey in which he discovered St Francis of Assisi. I found myself weeping by the end of this book at the lengths to which God goes to help us see Him fully.

Creature of the Word by Matt Chandler, Josh Patterson, & Eric Geiger. Before I started this one I tweeted, "About to start Creature of the Word; time to see if my pastors told the truth about us." Shore nuff, they did. No church is perfect, and in some ways, a large-multi-site church likes ours might hide her blemishes in the crowd while at the same time be a display of sorts for churches all over the world. In this book, the authors did a great job of showing how when it's all said and done, the Church is built up of individual sinners who are all captivated by and creatures of the word. My heart was freshly encouraged by reading this.

High Tide in Tucson by Barbara Kingsolver. To read Kingsolver is to love her. I've never read anything of hers that I wasn't completely captivated by, and this book is no different. High Tide in Tucson is a compilation of essays by Kingsolver on everything from evolution to traveling to war to memory. I loved it.

Reflections on a Year of Accidental Seminary

We just completed the pilot year of a hybrid-seminary-discipleship-program at my church. We were the guinea pigs—emphasis on the guinea because nothing makes you feel smaller than subsisting on an average of five hours of sleep a night for ten months while simultaneously realizing you are just not as smart as you think you are. Aside from reading and homework assignments, inclusion in this program required we:

Be covenant members at our church Be serving in lay or official ministry at our church Not show up even a minute late to classes each day (This one had consequences with embarrassing results—so much for sola gratia here...)

Going into the program I thought:

Getting up at 4:30am won't be that bad, plus it'll train me to wake up that early every morning: think of what I could do with an extra three hours awake on my off days!?

This much Bible reading will be the most concerted effort I'll have ever made to read straight through scripture. That can't be a bad thing.

Studying some key books inductively sounds on one hand exhausting (won't we get tired of the same book?) and on the other hand thrilling (18 weeks in the book of Romans? Yes, please.).

On this side of the program, here are some reflections:

My enthusiasm for rising early waned quickly because I am a morning person. However, my morning-person mornings break with sunshine, yes? Lacking sunshine I am apparently not a morning person. I desperately missed regular mornings at home, reading quietly over my morning coffee.

At the beginning of the program we were encouraged to read devotionally (the Bible as well as supplemental texts) instead of academically. However, the volume of required reading was so far out of my normal reading style, that I struggled to read it devotionally at all. I had to change the way I read, which wasn't a bad thing, and it helped me step back from the texts to see a more holistic picture.

I need sleep. I tried to do everything I normally do, plus this program (including the extra commute it added to my day), and do it on minimal sleep. I hit March and realized I just couldn't do it. It wasn't that I was doing too much, it was that I was doing it on not enough sleep. My relationships have suffered, my work suffered, my writing projects suffered, and my soul suffered under the guilt of what I wasn't able to do. Looking back, it would have been worth it for me to move closer to my church for this year simply to save on the amount of driving I had to do in the morning.

One section of the program required the students to teach through the book of Psalms. Rising early on those mornings was pure joy. To hear my fellow students wrestle with a text, the Lord, and their testimony every morning was a recipe for worship. We couldn't help but worship.

The most healing section of the program for me was studying the book of Acts inductively. I have a lot of baggage from that book and going through it start to finish was so completely complete. We studied it historically, geographically, theologically, and spiritually. It's a beautiful book.

The most challenging section of the program for me personally were theology classes. Every week I learned of more misconceptions and errors in my thinking and understanding of theology. This was challenging and relieving. We're all theologians, but we don't all have good theology.

The most rewarding aspect of the program was the opportunity to walk alongside about 30 other individuals (most of whom I knew or knew of already) who deeply loved Jesus, His Church, and His word. These were people who were chosen to pilot the program, who would give their all, and who were actively serving others. Coming together each morning and just extolling the name of Jesus together, shouldering burdens with one another, praying for one another, laughing, questioning, and wrestling with texts, theology, verbiage, and life together was a deep blessing for me personally. I don't know that there will be another opportunity in my life to walk alongside men and women of such caliber so closely for ten months.

Fin

As we finished our last class the other day, reflecting on what went well and offering feedback for future years of the program, I couldn't help but just reflect on what the Lord has done in my life in ten years. Ten years ago I participated in a similar program (though less rigorous) at my church in New York. It was the first real discipleship I'd ever experienced and the men who taught those classes shaped so much of my formative thinking in regard to theology and the word of God. Walking through this experience, ten years later, lent such perspective to what the Lord has done in me in a decade. He has been good to me. 

Writing Advice is Life Advice

One question tops all the other questions in my inbox. In fact, I was getting the question so often that I added a page to this site addressing an aspect of it. But I wanted to jot down a few more thoughts for those wondering about themselves. The question is always some variation of "In terms of quality and quantity in your writing, how did you get to where you are today?"

The answer is three-fold:

I write every day. And I haven't just written every day for a few months—I've written nearly every single day since 1999. I challenge myself to not just write about my feelings, but to write on issues facing the world and Church today. I write reflections, I write in response, I write reactions (though most people don't see these), I write reasons. No subject is too humble for words to describe it, and no issue is too great that it doesn't require me to do some critical thinking about it.

I read every day. My parents used to ground me from reading when I was a young teenager and not much has changed since then. I read articles, books, blogs, tweets, etc. I don't limit my reading to only one side of the discussion. I have an insatiable curiosity to see things from every angle. Many people seem to be encouraged by the level-headedness I might bring to an otherwise hot discussion—I attribute this to the Holy Spirit and to my desire to see things from every point of view.

The Lord. That might sound like a cop-out, but hear me out. I absolutely believe the Lord uniquely wires each of us differently. Some of you can pick up an instrument and where others can only pluck at it, you make it sing. Some see gorgeous photographs in every moment. I'm not sure why, but the Lord uniquely wired me to think quickly and articulately. My mind works fast, discerning light from darkness, good from evil, insight from observation, and then my mind pieces together words just as quickly. It's how the Lord wired me and, believe me, I have fought that call for many reasons and many years.

My challenge to those of you wanting to hone your craft is this:

First, ask the Lord what He wants to do with your skills. Perhaps He doesn't want you to blog voraciously, but wants you to pour your words out to Him like David did, in prayers and songs. Perhaps He didn't wire you to do what comes so naturally to others, but He did wire you to do something: what is it? No offering poured out to Him is wasted.

Second, read and write. Don't only read one sort of material or write in one sort of style. Push yourself to appreciate most genres, views, and voices. I say "most" because there's never been more garbage out there in terms of words.

Lastly, should you decide to blog, do not push for a platform right away. Do not try to go viral or allow any sort of publicity go to your head. Those who are given platforms quickly usually haven't done the work necessary to stand up there for very long. It can feel really good to have someone appreciate your words enough to give you a place to say them publicly, but remember Jesus worked for his earthly father for 30 years before His public ministry. Sweeping sawdust, serving his parents and siblings, growing in wisdom, stature, and favor with the Lord and man.

We would do well to do the same.

(Yes, my hair really is that nappy in the morning. Sue me.)

Some helpful resources for aspiring writers: Wordsmithy by Doug Wilson On Writing by Stephen King Elements of Style by Strunk & White The Bible

I STACKED UP TEN BOOKS

A fellow blogger has taken on the mammoth task of blogging through her bookshelves all this week—and I admire her for it! I wish I was able to do the same, but alas, most of my books have found themselves on the bookshelves of others and so I'm left with my measly top ten.

(Full disclosure: in writing this down tonight, I'm mostly procrastinating on the other writing I'm supposed to be doing. But I'm hoping that this small exercise will get my fingers moving in the right direction. Also, if you buy one of these books after clicking off my site, I might make a penny or two of that sale. So if enough of you buy, I might be able to get a snow-cone next week.)

These are not in any sort of order, except the order in which I thought they looked the prettiest all stacked on top of one another. Call me OCD or call me an artist, I think they're interchangeable.

A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle
This was the first piece of creative memoir I ever read, back in high-school. It set the stage for every single thing I have written since. Every sentence of mine has been crafted through the sieve of Madeleine's books, fiction and non-fiction. Her Crosswicks Journals are my favorite four of her books, of which this is one.

Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner
I read this book in about two sittings, a rarity for a Winner book (Girl Meets God, Real Sex, etc.). It was probably the first book I ever read on theology and perhaps the one which tempers me back, draws me in, and helps me to find some medium of faithfulness to the small things when my nature is to shout Grace! more loudly than anything else.

Mere Churchianity by Michael Spencer
This book was recommended to me by Jared Wilson (who wrote one of the books further down) as the closest book he could recommend for a memoir[ish] about someone who'd experienced what his book called Gospel Wakefulness. I only just recently read it, but Spencer's story and thoughts on being in church for decades and only fully understanding the gospel recently resonated very strongly in me. It's not memoir, but it could be.

The Valley of Vision, a book of puritan prayers
For several years, while my mind was teetering on the edge of dangerous thoughts and my soul was tempered with a form of the gospel, and not the fullness of it, my wise mentor and friend would have me take these prayers and rewrite them in my own words. There has been no discipline better for my fingers or my soul than this. So often my spiritual problem is that I cannot say the words that are simmering deeply in me, these prayers unlocked those words.

The Sacred Journey by Frederick Buechner
This book is more yellowed, written in, and falling apart than any of my books. I have read and reread it numerous times, each time more captured by his fluid sentences and depth of story. Buechner is one of my favorite authors, but this book stands apart from all the rest as he tells the story of his life and faith.

Desiring God by John Piper
I have not so much read this book as absorbed it. I have "been reading"  it for years, still unfinished. The concept that God is most glorified when we are most joy-filled, and that our fullness of God comes from seeing the glory of God has absolutely, unequivocally changed my life. And it changes it yearly, weekly, daily, moment by moment. At every moment when my joy lacks, it is easily found in Him. At every moment when my joy is found, it is easily found in more fullness of Him.

Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me by Ian Morgan Cron
This book, to me, is so much like The Sacred Journey in so many ways. I saw it on a bookshelf at Barnes and Noble and stood there reading it for over an hour. I could not put it down until I inched nearer and near to the end, which is when I began reading it as slowly as I could to make it last. The last several chapters of this book have profoundly affected me recently.

Somewhere More Holy by Tony Woodlief
I would like to tell you that I love this book because Tony is a friend or because I know what this book meant to his family, but the truth is that I loved this book, wept through this book, healed from this book long before I knew Tony at all. When we finally did become friends, I had to confess that a year after I bought the book, it was still sitting on my side table, teaching me things, reading me as much as I have read it.

Gospel Wakefulness by Jared Wilson
If there is only one book on this list that I recommend to every person, it is this one. I say that because of these words by D.A. Carson, "The first generation loved the gospel, the second generation assumed the gospel, and the third generation hated the gospel." Whoever we are, we are one of those people, and every one of us needs the gospel more and more every day. I do not know of a better book to commend for that purpose but this one.

The Complete Stories by Flannery O'Connor
You didn't think I'd forget this one, did you? I don't care who you are, you ought to have read Flannery O'Connor. In one of these stories we find ourselves, a putrid, filthy mirrored reflection or a stark, staggering realization, it's there. I do not know of a better communicator of the state of the heart than dear Flannery.

Bonus:
A Two-Part Invention by Madeleine L'Engle
Here's another one of her Crosswick's Journals and my second favorite of all her books. This one is about her marriage and family. Beautiful.

Okay, what about you? What are your top ten books? Blog them or comment below! I'd love some new recommendations (even though, I confess, I read the same books over and over and over again...). 

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